hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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