Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
