i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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