So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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