My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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