I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
