We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
