I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
