Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
