Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
