you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
