So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
