Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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