There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
and i looked up. we had an audience...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
