It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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