i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
