my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Randomize
