I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
