remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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