Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
