I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
