He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
