Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
