Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
