Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
