I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
