then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
