You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize