i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I party with great urgency now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
