you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
