I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I love having hate sex.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
