I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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