Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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