I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
