I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
