im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
