he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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