i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
