I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You left your phone here
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