Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
