I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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