I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
