I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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