I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Jerry, you need to find god
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
