omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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