I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
