sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize