i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
