Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
