I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
