Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
