everyone is single if you try hard enough
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize