Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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