Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
