I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize