you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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