Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
