Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
