Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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