She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
