Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
