just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I want to make a zoo with you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
